What are some funny and smart quotes?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

Aurora borealis lights up northern Nevada, Carson City skies - Carson Now

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Why are Christians quick to say that there are a lot the gay Christians that exist NOW and use that to pretend that Christianity is just loving to gays when the last 40 years of my life they been horrible?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

How do I get my body in shape?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”